It doesn’t take a study or an expert to show us this. Although, they are out there.
Jealousy will absolutely, positively wreck your life if you don’t weed it out. It’s a joy sucker. It’s a relationship killer. There is nothing good about jealousy–not even in the slightest.
But it’s awfully sneaky. Oftentimes it creeps in and takes root before we are even aware it is present. OR maybe jealousy has become so much of a habit for you, you are not accustomed to calling it by its name. Maybe you call it by name but have excused it.
We ALL experience/fight jealousy from time to time. So, please know that I am not trying to shame anyone who feels stuck. I just want to point us all to a better, emotionally healthier way of living. Because, deep down, we all know that jealousy is a destroyer that imprisons us and keeps us from living in a better and happier way.
From television to social media to our flesh and blood friends and acquaintances there is always someone or something we can measure our self and life against, right? And it is amazing how often we seem to find ourselves on the short end of the stick when we do.
Because we mostly compare apples and oranges.
We compare our lack of travel against our unmarried friend’s globe-trotting. Or vice-versa. We compare our lack of husband and children against our married friend’s family life. The thing is, we rarely look at the struggles others face and instead focus on those things they have that we would like–in a vacuum.
“Oh, poor me. I’m unbathed and stuck at home wiping noses and counters and bums morning to night, while so-and-so is cruising the Meditteranean and perfecting her tan while reading a stack of magazines. What a dream.”
“It’s just not fair. What have I done to deserve a life of loneliness and dead-end relationships? Just look how cute so-and-so’s little family is. She must be living a dream life of endless play and cuddles and giggles and fun. If only she knew what she had.”
If only we ALL knew what we had. IF ONLY we began to count our blessings, to look for things to be thankful for in the life that we have been given. In the body we have been given. In the house and job and town and marriage and friendships and car and finances we have been given.
Oh, man. This changes lives. When we finally decide to live a life of gratefulness instead of one full of envy.
Really, thankfulness is the answer. It is what kills jealousy every single time.
It’s something that Brance and I have been practicing as he looks for work. Instead of feeling envy towards those who are chosen to be hired instead of Brance, we are thankful for those people. We’re thankful that they no longer have to worry about finding a job. We are thankful for God’s guidance in our lives–guidance that often closes doors. We are thankful that we aren’t hungry or homeless during this process.
There is so much to be thankful for. And when we practice gratitude, any feeling of jealousy that wants to raise its nasty head gets stamped right out. I dare you to give it a try!!!
Really it all comes down to love. When we truly love others (even people we have never met), we won’t/can’t be jealous of them. We will desire their good. We will be happy when great things happen to them. AND well be thankful for the good in our own life as well.
We’ll be happy in our own shoes.
With love for you all,
p.s. I have to be careful to put this into practice with blogging. It could be easy for me to look at other successful bloggers and not feel thankful for what I have here. Instead I want to be grateful—for others and myself.