Your worth does not go up or down with the inches of your waistline.
It is not measured in your salary or the money sitting in your banking account.
Your worth doesn’t diminish with the rejection of others. Nor does it increase with their approval.
Your status as single or married, dating or engaged, widowed or divorced doesn’t change the status of your worth.
Your worth isn’t affected by being able to have or not have children.
Homes, vehicles, clothing, all the things you own don’t give you an ounce of worth.
Beauty is not worth’s scale, regardless of what our culture might like us to believe. And worth isn’t acquired through fame and adoration.
Your worth doesn’t hang on a good education, or job, or a successful venture.
You see, you have worth that can’t be increased or taken away regardless of your circumstances. Because this worth doesn’t come from another thing or human being. Including yourself (your feelings about yourself don’t alter your worth in the least!).
It comes from God and the fact that you were made in his image.
When you allow this truth to sink deep, deep into your heart and mind, amazing things begin to happen.
They did for me.
I’ll never forgot a painful experience from several years ago that shook me to my core. It was a rejection wrapped in layers of betrayal that got me questioning my worth. I began to think perhaps that I really was as undesirable as I was made to feel by the situation.
Have you ever experienced something similar? Oh, man. This is just a terrible way to exist— allowing the behavior of other people toward you to dictate your value.
I walked away from the experience feeling broken and pretty worthless. I had so much to be thankful for and yet I was allowing this painful experience to color my world. Trust no longer came naturally to me and I began to assume that the problem had been entirely me. If I had a different personality, if I looked differently, dressed differently, or was smarter maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Perhaps these people wouldn’t have treated me like this. It sounds crazy now. But, because of how I had been treated, I really felt this way.
My joy was dimmed for months as a result. I was paralyzed in friendships moving forward. My heart was weighed down so much it began to affect my ability to be a good wife and mom and friend.
And then it was brought to my attention one day this simple truth that my worth doesn’t come from circumstances or others. Yes! That’s right! I had been believing a lie, even if it were subconsciously, to my own harm.
The funny thing is I knew all of this. That I was an image bearer. That my value didn’t come from people or things. But to know is one thing, to embrace is quite a different thing entirely.
And when I finally began to hold dearly this truth that my worth didn’t come from the opinions of others or from circumstances, my life began to brighten immensely. It really took on a glow like I had never experienced before.
Because, when you live in the light of this truth, the behavior of others and the circumstances of your life no longer control your happiness or well-being. You are no longer a prisoner to them.
When a friend or loved one doesn’t treat you well or unfairly judges you or excludes you or walks away with no explanation. It’s okay. Because your worth isn’t tied to this person and their opinions. And if the situation never improves you can continue on with your worth in tact.
(Plus, you can forgive (!!) because you recognize the worth of the other person. You can pray for them and wish them well in your heart, even. Watch out, this will help YOU heal and “move on” like nothing else.)
When endeavors fail and applications get passed over and dreams turn to dust. It’s okay. You worth is not measured in success or failure. You can trust that this is merely God’s way of directing your path and you are not less-than for lack of success. There is real peace that resides here.
When you’re not at your ideal weight, or you are constantly passed over in the dating scene, or you’re dealing with acne or wrinkles. It’s okay. You know in your heart that your worth is not affected by these outward circumstances. Your worth is doesn’t hang on the positive reception of others. And that looking to that for worth/value is actually a dangerous pursuit.
In conclusion, I once heard a pastor say that a child of God should never “walk” with a swagger or a swoop. In other words, when we recognize and accept our identity and place in creation we won’t be either proud or self-abasing. We’ll calmly move forward in life, regardless of our circumstances, secure in who God has made us to be.
Looking to God for my worth is something I want to continue to embrace day-by-day. It’s something I want to live out as an example for my two sweet daughters. How about you?